


being 15 fucking sucks

by noah_ghost



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Gen, i don’t know how to tag this sorry, other characters will be added as they appear - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:14:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25196764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noah_ghost/pseuds/noah_ghost
Summary: sasha has been Mechanized. now it has to deal with meeting the other mechs and grapple with its immortality. (this will likely be a collection of mostly-unrelated short chapters.)
Relationships: nastya rasputina & original character
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. devil’s after both of us

sasha wakes up eyes wide, gasping for breath, flailing its arms against its restraints.

the doctor looks up from her work across the room. “oh. good.” she walks over slowly to the table it is laying on. “can you hear me?”

it doesn’t respond, eyes still glazed over with panic. the doctor slowly brushes her hand over its hair. “you’re okay. i’m not going to hurt you.” she pauses. “do you remember me?”

its breathing finally begins to slow after a minute, as the fog lifts from its mind and its throat opens up again. “yes.” it says.

“good.” as she undoes the restraints, she keeps an eye on its expressions. “do you remember what happened?”

“...yes,” it replies after a moment. then, “...no. not exactly.” it sits up. “where am i.”

“we’re in my ship.” she takes a seat in a chair a few feet away. “how are you feeling.”

“like shit.”

“care to elaborate? i have more medication if you need it.”

its head pounds and its chest hurts and it doesn’t want to talk any more. “no. ‘s fine.”

“hm.” she stares at it for a few moments, then looks away and begins to speak. “you were- dying. i saved you.” she stops again. “you’re not human anymore.”

“you made me a mechanism.”

she nods.

“...i thought you didn’t do that anymore.”

she is silent. finally she says, “you’re too young. you’re going to do great things for the universe.”

“i don’t want this.”

“i’m sorry.”

it’s a little startled. it has never known the doctor to apologize that easily before. as it looks closer, it sees that she looks… genuinely remorseful.

“fuck.” it puts its hand over its head.

“would you rather have died?” she asks.

it bristles. “leave me alone.” it doesn’t say that it has no idea how to answer that question.

she leaves the room. the door slides shut behind her. 


	2. threw a brick right through the window

jonny and ashes are the only ones awake, quietly playing cards at the table, when they hear the ship’s door sliding open. barely bothering to look, they both grab their guns and shoot the intruder to pieces. then they take a second glance, and then they look at each other in horror. the intruder, now covered in blood but still standing, looks pissed.

“is it just me or is that… a child?” jonny whispers to ashes.

“uh. sure looks like it.” ashes whispers back.

“hi. still here,” the intruder says.

“who the fuck are you?” they say in unison.

“the doctor’s latest project!” it laughs. “call me sasha. i know who you are, of course.”

“that fucking…” jonny growls. “she’s still doing this?”

“if it means anything, she promised i was going to be her last. but, y’know. her promises don’t mean much.”

“uh. how old are you?” ashes asks.

“fifteen.”

“jesus.”

“i know.” it sits down casually in one of the seats across from them. “so, you got extra room in here for me?”

“yeah, i reckon we can find some.”

“jonny, why don’t you get everyone together so we can introduce the kid.” ashes is hard to read. sasha can’t tell whether they’re upset or not.

“... are you going to get older?” ashes asks.

sasha looks at them. “i have no fucking idea.”

“...did the doc say anything?”

“she didn’t know either. funny, right?”

“sorry. being fifteen forever would suck.”

“yeah.”

“... i assume the doc told you about us, right?”

“yeah. bits and pieces. i get the feeling she wasn’t telling the whole truth.”

ashes laughs. “yeah, she was like that.”


	3. a mouth so sharp and cruel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: references to abuse

sasha is crying again.

it's been crying on and off for the last few days, and Aurora is starting to get worried. so she tells nastya.

“what do you want me to do about it?” nastya asks as she fiddles with a panel deep in the engine room. “i'm not good with that.”

aurora gently shocks her.  _ it’s new. you could at least be nice to it. _

“i- you know I’m not good at that, i’ll just make it feel worse… i’ll ask one of the others.”

_ hurry. i don’t like crying. _

nastya runs through the crew members in her mind. none of them are particularly good at being comforting, however much marius and brian may pretend. 

fuck, she’ll have to do this herself.

nastya knocks gently on sasha’s door. “you in there?”

she’s met with silence.

she knocks again. “sasha. please open the door.”

another few moments, then the door slides open. sasha is trying to pretend it hasn’t been crying, but it’s still sniffling. “what do you want?”

“can I come in?”

“fine.”

nastya sits in the little chair in the corner. sasha sits on its bed.

“we’re worried about you.”

“really.”

nastya frowns. “yes.”

“you don’t know me. i don’t think you even like me.”

“i don’t like anyone. doesn’t mean I can’t be worried about you.”

sasha scoffs.

“okay. let me explain it to you.” nastya sighs. “we all went through the same thing. we’re stuck with each other for the foreseeable infinite future. so, might as well talk to each other, no?”

“...sure.”

“it doesn’t have to be right now. but i promise it’ll hurt less some day. it gets easier to talk about when it happened millenia ago.”

sasha is quiet for a moment, fidgeting with its fingernails and avoiding nastya’s gaze. “i had to kill my father.”

“i’m sorry.”

“the disease attacked his brain. he was going to kill me. i had to shoot my father in the head. do you know what that’s like?”

“no. but if it helps, i killed my father too. accidentally.”

sasha actually laughs.

“look, kid, jonny shot his father too, if you want to talk to him about it. but, i’m serious, we’ve all gone through a bunch of shit. please don’t act like you’re the only one with a tragic backstory.”

sasha looks indignant, about to snap back a retort, but it catches itself. “yes. okay.”

“how long were you with the doc?”

“eh, ‘bout three years maybe? why?”

“what’s she up to these days?”

“i don’t know much. she’s got a new ship. she was always working but it was very secret, she never let me see.”

“and she let you go… willingly?”

“i guess. she wasn’t happy about it, but she didn’t stop me.”

“she ever hurt you?”

“nothing much. she took blood and other tests once in a while but she never made me do anything i didn’t want to. i guess she learned after you guys that being immoral doesn’t exactly make your patients like you.”

“hah. yes. you could say that.” now it’s nastya’s turn to avoid eye contact. “i don’t… think she meant to be cruel, but she always valued her science over our feelings. and when we acted out, she got angry and punished us, so we hated her more, and on and on.” nastya laughs again. “seriously, i’m glad she was nicer to you.”

sasha is quiet again. “after she mechanized me, i was pissed. i didn’t want immortality. but she helped me finish the cure for the virus that killed my father. i felt like i was in her debt. but she told me i was free to leave whenever i wanted. i- i’d like to think she learned from her mistakes.”

“...huh. i guess anything’s possible when you have eternity to think about what you did wrong.”

“could you ever forgive her?”

“no. if i saw her right now i would kill her, no question.”

“fair.” sasha is laying on its back now, relaxed. “you know, when i was crying before, i wasn’t even thinking about the shit that’s happened to me. i was actually sad ‘cause i was worried none of you liked me and i was gonna be the outsider again. isn’t that kinda stupid? i could worry about anything in the world, but i’m just lonely. like usual.”

“not stupid,” nastya says. “but you don’t have to worry about that. the others may not be good at showing it, but they’ll warm up to you.”

“thank you,” says sasha, but it’s sniffling a little bit again. “can i hug you?”

“uh- okay.” nastya stands and reaches over to sasha. she’s quite a bit taller than it is.

“you’re cold!” says sasha.

“ha. yeah. metal blood makes circulation not so good,” nastya laughs.

“that’s okay. you’re a nice hugger anyway.”

making sure that sasha can’t see, nastya smiles. she’s not used to this kind of open affection; the other mechs are practically allergic to emotion. this is really nice.


End file.
